When Chinese vaguely express an idea or an opinion, the real message is often just implied. They expect their conversational partner to be highly involved and to take an active role in deciphering messages, as well as in mutually creating meaning. In Chinese culture, pang qiao ce ji [beating around the bush] is a style that nurtures an implicit understanding. In Chinese culture, children are taught not to just hear the explicit words but also to focus on how something is said, and on what is not said.
I collaborated with Shen to conduct interviews with dozens of European managers from various business sectors who had spent significant portions of their careers in different regions of China. They had varying opinions on how to succeed in a Chinese environment. In one of these interviews, Pablo Díaz, a Spanish executive who worked in China for a Chinese textile company for fifteen years, remarked, ‘In China, the message up front is not necessarily the real message. My Chinese colleagues would drop hints, and I wouldn’t pick them up. Later, when thinking it over I would realize I had missed something important.’ Díaz recounts a discussion he had with a Chinese employee which went something like this:
Mr. Díaz: It looks like some of us are going to have to be here on Sunday to host the client visit.
Mr. Chen: I see.
Mr. Díaz: Can you join us on Sunday?
Mr. Chen: Yes, I think so.
Mr. Díaz: That would be a great help.
Mr. Chen: Yes, Sunday is an important day.
Mr. Díaz: In what way?
Mr. Chen: It’s my daughter’s birthday.
Mr. Díaz: How nice. I hope you all enjoy it.
Mr. Chen: Thank you. I appreciate your understanding.
Díaz laughs about the situation now. ‘I was quite certain he had said he was coming,’ Díaz says. ‘And Mr. Chen was quite certain he had communicated that he absolutely could not come because he was going to be celebrating his daughter’s birthday with his family.’
Díaz has learned from experience how to avoid falling into these communication snafus:
If I’m not 100 percent sure what I heard, shrugging my shoulders and leaving with the message that I sort of think I heard is not a good strategy. If I am not sure, I have to take the responsibility to ask for clarification. Sometimes I have to ask three or four times, and although that can be a little embarrassing for both me and my colleague, it is not as embarrassing as having a production line set and ready and waiting for Mr. Chen, who is contentedly singing happy birthday somewhere else.